Why Should You Know My Honest Confidential Secrets?

Why Should You Know My Honest Confidential Secrets?

It’s so easy today to puff out our chest and act like we have it all figured out.

BUT THAT DOESN'T CREATE GENUINE CONNECTION.

We only post the best things and when we're out, we try to look our best. Then no one (except maybe those closest to us) gets to see what happens when we get home some nights and lay awake anxious about the tasks ahead. Only a very few see that we can’t sleep because we don’t know how we're going to get everything done.

Be who you are! Not who you think you should be. 

I want you to know that I'm not perfect and if you see something I need to work on, its OK to bring it up or laugh with me when I make the same mistake again. It means we can work through any issues as I have nothing to hide, which isn't the same as saying I have shared everything as this is a blog not a book.

1. I'm terrible at pretty much every sport involving a ball. 

I never played sports as a kid and had no talent. As a result, I could not throw a football or hit a baseball in my life. A golf ball is the only one I can manage – if you can even count that. I played it twice and beat all the experienced players, but just didn't have the patience for it. But I love swimming and kayaking. 

2. I prefer lounging around in my pajamas or less.

Having worked from home for 20 years, you get to be pretty comfortable going to work. Wake up just before 8:00 am and walk across the hall and get caught up on your emails or join a conference. If you could get away with being casual wouldn't you be? I'm getting out a lot more selling real estate, so expect this to change, particularly with webcam sessions.

3. I’m late. Way more than I'd like to be.

And I can't stand it. I just always try to do things right up until the last minute, and I notoriously underestimate how long everything will take. I’d like to say that I'm incredibly optimistic about what I can accomplish in a day, but if I'm honest, I know that being late hurts me and others. It’s something I work on a lot and the past year has gotten better, but I have a long way to go.

4. I love “Chick Flicks”.

I like sappy movies and yes I cry during them. Don't get me wrong though I am a big sci-fi fan and have every one of them, but the sappy movies are what I remember.

5. I was a grumpy baby.

For some reason I am told I was a grumpy baby or at least not a happy one.

Somewhere around 8 I managed to grab onto something bigger than me and experience life differently from there on out. I no longer was angry against the world and wanted to help anyone I could. I'm still a very serious person deep in thought, but when I am around other people I'm much sweeter I'm told. Here's a bit a kindness handing my twin brother a flower.

6. I raised my daughter since she was a baby.

Probably the hardest thing in my life to admit, is that as hard as I tried to be a good parent it didn't seem to be enough to keep that father / daughter bond. Even with the help of family and friends and what seemed like a happy childhood comes that stage where a child must show their independence and you long for the day when they return and want your company again. I wait longingly for those days.

7. I am a terrible speller, but you wouldn't know it. 

I assumed everyone studied right up to bedtime and in the morning too. I managed to get top grades. It wasn't until my daughter was in school did I realize she had severe dyslexia and shortly after realized I did too. Dyslexia didn't stop me from achieving my goals, it taught me I can overcome anything.

8. I'm sometimes not as good working as a team.

I always thought I’d could run any project alone, but every project has many pieces and it takes a team to complete them. If you do well you have to learn to give up certain responsibilities so you can focus on the important ones. I've realized how crucial working with talented people are to the future of my career. I have made great strides this year, acknowledging others for their positive roles in my life, expressing sincere appreciation for help and learning to ask for help.

9. I can't stand seeing people waste their potential.

I don’t think there’s anything more frustrating. I so badly want to do something to help them, but I know it’s useless until someone decides they want to operate on a higher level. At times this leads to some uncomfortable, intense and repeated conversations. I have had the good fortunate to help some friends out by getting them retrained into different careers that can support their families. Who was really taking the bigger risk, me investing in them or them stepping out and doing something different? They were the brave ones!

10. My daughter changed my life. 

I was only married for about a year, but out of that was born my daughter, who I raised as a single dad. She kept me focused on something other than myself. She kept me active and free spirited. 

11. I thought I was living healthy.

I read and learned a lot about food, nutrition, health and overall well-being, and most days I achieve that. But from time to time I still find myself emotional eating or frequently not getting the exercise that I need. Slowly though I am achieving my goals and feeling better every day.

12. I didn't think I could ever fail. 

I worked for the same company for 30 years straight and thought I would work there until retirement, but when a company is laying off 50,000 employees you are just a number. At the time I felt slighted that little consideration was taken regarding my accomplishments.

I realize now they did me a big favor. I had become comfortable and not realizing it was sucking the life out of me. Working from home is nice, but when they work you 80 hours a week you don't realize what you are missing out on. Now I have become part of the community again. I've talked to over 1,000 people in 2 months, joined a service club and started a new career oriented around people. My friends say I am no longer a wallflower and that's a good thing. Failure can be your best friend.

13. I like being alone. 

While I like my friends and getting out and meeting new people, I also like being alone. I am introvert at heart, but when put into the public arena I can thrive pretty well, but it takes a lot of effort. I don't have the natural social graces of others, but I am coming out of my shell and finding it's rather fun meeting new people and having new experiences. So maybe my days of being a recluse are over.

14. Sometimes I feel like email runs my life.

For the life of me, I cannot seem to get ahead of my email boxes. My personal email has 6,699 unread emails in it, and its Sunday night. I am sure these are all junk mail, but I may never get around to deleting them. Then I have another half dozen email ids for my charity work, my real estate work, my personal Google and all the Facebook posts. It's time to just create another shoebox and move all my inbox into and start fresh.

15. I have a very limiting belief that if I don't over prepare, I will fail.

I constantly over prepare. It's part of my ADHD and Dyslexia DNA. I research my choices in detail to the point some wonder if I'll ever start. It’s been a blessing and a curse. I always exceed at what I do at the expense of learning to have more fun. Encourage me to have more fun and take life less seriously. 

16. I’m more extreme with things than I'd like to be. And sometimes it gets me hurt.  

This is something my family and friends are always a little concerned about. This photo is of my backyard. I built this cabin last summer in 6 days with an assistant. Two years ago I tore out everything in my backyard and build 2 50 foot streams, 11 waterfalls, Koi pond, gazebos, with over 1000 plants and the year before that I tore out my front yard and put in a Santa Fe Courtyard. 

I only seem to be able to operate at an extreme level. It’s exhausting for others, but I don't seem to notice. I was barely able to walk 5 years ago from fibromyalgia, but somehow I convinced myself if I didn't move I would be frozen in time and I haven't stopped yet. I push myself to the limit. That has resulted in sprained ankles, plantar fasciitis, shin splints and a host of other pains. My physical recovery may be taking longer than it should as I don't stop to rest. I'd love to be more casual with some of the things I do or stop to smell the roses.

I could keep going, but how much do you really want to know?

I have no idea how you'll respond to this list, but I am betting you have similar experiences.

I hope you'll continue to accept me for who I am. Because that’s the only person I’m willing to be.

Being honest, means I can admit when I don't know something and find the right answer, which is better than someone pretending to know everything, but getting it wrong.

Let me know what you think? 

-Ken Rury, Kitsap Cares